Shooting for 2010

It's official. I'm out of the running for Mom of the Year in 2009. I'm entering my second year of motherhood, and I have yet to even be nominated. Argh. But for those of you who are wondering why I won't be Mom of the Year, let me give you some reasons.

(I should also point out that all of these things occurred within the last 24 hours. And to give you a bit more context, it should be noted that Henry has a sinus infection with a bear of a cough that causes him to cough up man-sized lugies.)

1. I took Henry to the grocery store despite the fact that he was covered in lugie and vomit. I simply wiped him off with a baby wipe, zipped up his raincoat, and prayed no one got close enough to us to smell him. After all, I had to pick up his Augmentin for the aforementioned infection.

2. The reason why he puked between the doctor's office and Kroger is because he choked on a dum dum. I knew he bit the end of the lollipop off, but I was barrelling down Robius Rd in the rain.

3. Once he threw up, I did finally pull over to check out the situation. I cleaned him up as best I could with wipes and paper towels. And then I left the pukey wad of paper in someones front yard on Winterfield. Sorry. (STOP JUDGING ME!!!)

4. We had to wait about 30 minutes at the pharmacy for his script to be filled. It was 5:45 at this time. We didn't leave Kroger until 6:20 or so. So, while standing in the check out line, I bought my son dinner. He had a bag of mini-ritz peanut butter sandwiches. (That's got protein and grains, right? I mean, it is better than a bag of Doritos.)

5. This morning, rather than stay home from Bible Study, I decided I would keep him with me. I did not want to give up my only chance for adult conversation all week. (Sloan is out of town until Thursday evening.) And I had the cutest Old Navy "Mom's Lucky Charm" shirt for him to wear. About halfway through his cheerios and nutrigrain bar, he starts coughing. But this doesn't stop him from shoving more food in his mouth. So, of course, he pukes it all up. Along with more snot. And it is all over the cute t-shirt, because I'd forgotten to give him a bib. Did I go and change his clothes? No. I took off his shirt, rinsed it in the sink, and then threw it in the dryer. Because, dang it!--he was going to wear that shirt.

6. We had to leave before the shirt was completely dry. So, after microwaving the t-shirt for two minutes, we had to go. I'm driving down 288 with the heat on full blast (so much so I had to crack my window), holding up the damp shirt to the vent. I'm thinking to myself, Gosh this is so stupid, and yet, I cannot stop myself. The knowledge of my own lunacy does not keep me from being an idiot.

7. My sweet boy got to hang with the ladies at Bible Study today--coloring and looking at books. In a damp shirt that had an odd orange tint to it. Happy Freakin' St. Patty's day.