Free to be You and Me

I loved the soundtrack to Marlo Thomas' "Free to be You and Me" as a child. I could perform the entire "Ladies First" skit by myself and did so ad nauseum. As an adult, I still hold fond memories for the play, book, and music--I do love anything with Alan Alda--yet I'm logical enough to see that it was written with a clear feminist agenda. Not as much propaganda as the movie Happy Feet, but inching close to it. That being said, I'm pretty sure I never would've understood that parents are people, people with children, had it not been for the crooning of Marlo Thomas and Harry Belafonte.
And so it should come as no surprise to anyone who knows the words to "William wants a Doll" that I decided to buy my son a doll. I saw him pretending to feed one at the doctor's office and my heart melted. I'm sure that my father-in-law will be upset, but I'll appeal to the "training him to be a daddy" truth that is little boys having baby dolls. I'm also planning on using it to help teach the little guy names of body parts and how to dress. (Do these rationalizations seem to work?)

However, as cool and hip as I am with my son playing with a baby doll, there were some parameters I put upon the doll when I went shopping. I wanted a doll that was: a)not creepy looking, b) not black (I'm not racist, but seriously, if I'm going for him seeing this baby as an extension of himself, a black baby really doesn't help), and c) not dressed in pink.

Let me tell you people, there are not many baby dolls that meet these criteria. Remember those dolls you had as a kid that had the crazy eyes that wobbled around? You know the one that you said, "I don't like that dollie. She gave me the stink eye in art class yesterday." But really no, that's just the way she looks.

The doll aisle at both Target and Toys R Us is the creepiest aisle in the place. The following is what I had to work with--

The cabbage patch kid. Wrong in all three categories. Super high creep factor.

This one was a contender. But he talks. Two languages. And he needs a haircut. And oh yeah, one of his phrases is, "I love you, Mommy."

I really liked this one. His name is Josh. He costs $60. So I added a fourth criteria--must not cost more than $20.

The "Baby Born" swim doll. Yes, it is a boy. But he's half naked. I know the doll will end up naked, but seriously, I think the doll should come clothed. Super high creep factor.

So what did we end up with?

The Real Water Baby.

Except Henry's baby is wearing blue and came with a bottle and a teddy bear. Henry enjoys feeding him the bottle and dragging him around by his foot. The baby also was hurled across the room several times. I am attempting to teach Henry to cuddle the baby, but the closest he's come is to smother it with a ball. I'll attempt to get some pictures of Henry with his baby, but I'm guessing that it will not replace trains as his favorite toy anytime soon.