Occupy My Life

Yesterday, I told a friend that I was thinking of giving up blogging and writing all together for awhile.  That my book and "building a brand" and networking with other writers and agents consumed too much of my thoughts and mind. It distracted me from my family and that I'd be a more loving wife and mom if I sacrificed my dream.  She wisely commented that, "Well, if it doesn't hurt, it's not love.  But it's also not love if you give something up and then talk all the time about how much you've given up and want credit for it."  My dear bestie A knows me well enough to know I'm not mature enough to love sacrificially and not want a parade in my honor for doing so.

However, after praying more about the whole writing and my own dissatisfaction with  my life as of late, it is also true that perhaps if I wrote more, I'd think about writing less.  Because real writers write.  They don't just sit in coffee shops and talk about writing with their writing friends.  They don't just carry around notebooks and jot notes.  They don't just ignore their families in an effort to remember that brilliant thing they thought about in the grocery store and forgot to write down in their handy dandy notebook  (You know that thing that made them buy four boxes of fruity Cheerios and completely forget the milk and bananas they went in for in the first place.)  Writers sit and write.

I do not want to participate this year in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month),  because if I can't read two books at the same time, I definately can't write a new book while still working on my manuscript from last year.  (Yes, the first draft if done.  But I may be weaving into it my idea for my second book.  I've had conflicting advice from two different agents.  So maybe it's not done.  But it is in a binder on my desk.  And I move it around from room to room in the house, stealing 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there to edit it and scribble notes in the margins.)

So instead, I'm going to participate in BlogNoWriMo.  I don't know if this is an actual thing.  I may be making it up.  But I'm almost certain I read something about it on twitter (which HAS become a distraction and so has been removed from my phone).  I'm going to blog everyday for the next thirty days.  And I'm not going to think about it.  I'm just going to Nike it up and just do it.

So, quite possibly, y'all could be reading a lot of mindless dribble for the next month.  Because part of this discipline is to help me be more present with my kids.  To focus on writing for a certain amount of time a day, and then close my notebook, Ipad, and laptop.  And then focus on legos and baby dolls and Thomas the Tank Engine (because I know have TWO kids who sleep clutching a little blue engine). 

I'd like to occupy my own life instead of hovering over the lives of my friends in social media.*


*Yes, I'm about the tweet that.  Baby steps.