My name is Elizabeth and I am a winner

That's right. I'm a winner. My gym was having a free drawing and guess what, WE WON!!! What did we win? Free massage? Alas, no. WE WON 4 FREE TICKETS TO SEE DORA THE EXPLORER and even 4 PASSES TO A SPECIAL PARTY BEFOREHAND TO MEET DORA!!!

I know you're jealous.

But the problem is, when the man called me on Monday to tell me we'd won, I suddenly realized that 1) Sloan will be out of town for the event, and, possibly more important, 2) Henry has no idea who Dora is.

So it has sort of been a blessing that Henry and I have been riding the poop soup express as of late.* We've been able to catch up on Dora. And he likes it. He shimmies his shoulders a lot when they sing. I'm taking this as a good sign.

But I have a few questions about Dora.
1. Why are you always alone with that monkey? Where are your parents? Shouldn't they be accompanying you to your cousin's quinceanara? Especially since you have to go over a bridge with known troll activity, through a rain forest, and since that vagrant "Swiper" has yet to be apprehended. That just seems like bad parenting. Should I call social services?

2. Just follow the friggin' path. I'm not Magellan, but why do you need a map when your destination is always at the end of a path. Sure, you got to go through the knock-knock door and then the catcher's pond, but seriously, they are all on the same road. Or hey, wait a minute, you say you are going to the tall mountain. Why don't you just look up and walk towards the tall mountain?

3. Seriously, what's up with "Swiper?" He has to be the worst thief ever--or maybe--he is just misunderstood. If all it takes is you shaking your finger and saying "Swiper, no swiping!" three times, perhaps he really isn't interested in taking your umbrella. Also, when Diego joins you, why don't you just stick his baby jaguar on Swiper. I'm pretty sure a jaguar could take out a fox any day.

4. Where did you get that backpack? Does it come in other colors or styles? I'd pay good money to have a purse that neatly arranged all of its contents at the simple command "purse." (I can see it now. Henry is waiting patiently in the grocery cart while I look for my keys. I say purse, and then poof! flying in a circle around my purse are all of its contents. Awesome!)

All this aside, we are stoked. And by we, I mean me. We've invited H's BFF Nathan and his mommy Rebecca to come along. And if the boys hate it, who cares? It was free. (I have, however, looked online to see how much these tix are worth. Who are these people who are paying $77 a ticket to go see Dora? )

*I have to admit, no matter how many times it means I have to change his diaper, I still find it hilarious that my son farts so loud. Seriously, it is like someone sitting on a woopie cushion. And every time he toots he poops. But he doesn't seem to mind. It doesn't stop him from playing with his trucks, talking on the phone, or breakin' it down to Dora. Oh, by the way, I'm totally feeling 100% better. And I'm 4 pounds lighter without having worked out since Saturday. SCORE!