White Woman rants about subtle racism...

Every month Henry's preschool hands out those wonderful Scholastic book club flyers.  This month I was looking forward to ordering some kids books about Black History month and Martin Luther King, Jr.  I thought for certain there would be a couple of board books. 
There was one.  ONE. 
There were loads of books about Valentine's Day, President's Day, and even several for 100th day of School celebrations.  First of all, is 100th day of school even a thing?  Really?  But only ONE book having to deal with Martin Luther King, Jr?  Not even the President's book to his daughters?
Now let me say that I understand that every flyer has only so many books it features.  (100 to be exact)  And that having every book being about Black History month or Martin Luther King, Jr would niether be appropriate or good marketing for the book company.  But I refuse to believe that preschool parents aren't interested in race relations.  There are black kids in preschool.  There are biracial kids in preschool.  There are white kids in preschool with parents who want their kids to understand history and black culture.  And certainly there are parents of every shade who want their kids to like the skin they are in.
So I went on Scholastic's facebook page and basically said, "What gives?"  They pointed me to the fact that they have a catalog just for African American children's books and culture called Voices.  So I countered back, "So you are telling me the book are segregated?"  They quickly responded and sent me an email address to discuss it privately.  (Also, I looked at the catelog and am soooo excited.  There is a series of chapter books for 2-4th graders about these little AA ballerinas and they look super cute!)
Basically, I have to get my preschool director to request the Voices catalog so I can order from it and my school still get freebies.  But still I say, "What gives?"  Does that mean that somewhere there are teachers who only receive Voices for their predominately African American students?  That doesn't seem quite right either.  Certainly they deserve to celebrate the bogus holiday of 100th day of school like their white counterparts. 
I think this is just one of the countless little things we white people don't get.  The subtle racism of our culture.  Yes, we are appalled by the obvious things.  We teach our children what words to not say and to value all people.  But saying the right words and believing the right things are two different things entirely.   
Like have you heard they are publishing an edition of Huckleberry Finn that removes the n-word and replaces it with slave?  What?  The publisher said it repulsed him to read that word so many times.  Correct if I am wrong, but wasn't that sort of the point?  If Tom and Huck start out politically correct, how will their characters evolve?  And how will teachers lead discussions about the use of that word to enlighten their students?  And if you say that having kids read the n-word in Huckleberry Finn will only lead to intolerance, I say this--show me the hate crime that can be traced back to reading Mark Twain and I'll eat my shirt!
Before Christmas, I heard an African American mom complaining to customer service at WalMart that there was not a good selection of black baby dolls.  And she's right.  Sure, you can find them.  But you have to look for them.  Or pay an arm and a leg for them.  In the American Girl franchise, they have a black doll.  Her name is Addy and she is an escaped slave.  And you can buy a doll with dark skin and curly hair or medium skin and curly hair.  But she's $100.  I also love that the 2010 American Girl doll of the year is named Kanini.  She's Hawaiian.  And by Hawaiian I mean to say she has light brown eyes, fair skin, and light brown hair.  But she wears a lei, so I guess that makes her authentic. 
Or just look at how much aisle space African American hair products get at your grocery store.  And I've never even once seen a satin crib sheet even sold at a Babies R Us or Pottery Barn.  Oh, what's that you say?  Yeah.  Most people don't even know that cotton can be killer to fragile tightly curled hair, so AA girls need to either use a satin pillowcase or wear a satin hair bonnet when they sleep to protect their hair and hair styles.  Try finding a satin lined snow cap in a mainstream store.  You can't.  I've also looked for something to put in Gracie's car seat, but cannot find it.  So I'm going to fashion something myself and maybe even set up shop on Etsy with my own little Satin Car Seat thingys.  Because I'm guessing that the reason Gracie's hair is shorter in the back is from the car seat friction causing breakage.
And another thing white people don't know is what to say.  I'm even at a loss here.  I understand that race and ethnicity and culture are often interchangable in some people's minds, even though, in reality, they are three different things.  I don't even know if it is wrong that I sometimes say black instead of African American.   Actually, most of the time I say brown, as in my son is pink and my daughter is brown because her skin is that of a black person, but ethnically she is also Caucasian and Japanese.  And culturally, she's the same as me.  And her hair is silky but curly.  Not tight coils, but loose curls.  There is even a technical grading system for curly hair.  I am a 3a--think Debra Messing and Taylor Swift.  Gracie is a 3b--think Heather Headley or Alicia Keyes.  (For comparison, Joss Stone is a 2 and Macy Gray is a 4a.)  And if you have a couple of hours to kill, you should totally watch YouTube videos on how to style AA hair.  Seriously.  Addictive.  Can't wait until Gracie's hair is long enough to rock some Bantu knots or two strand coils.
I try not too worry too much about political correctness.  You can be politcally correct and still harbor hate in your heart.  Perhaps the main thing is to simply think about what you say before you say it (admittedly, not a strength of mine).  I figure when Gracie is old enough, knowing she's my daughter, she'll tell me what to call her.  For now, I call her mine.