Friday, April 23, 2010

Numbers (or why I haven’t blogged in a week)

1900 Miles

2 big car trips—to Philly and Jacksonville, FL. In one week. Yawn.

1 new big boy car seat (aka high back booster seat), affectionately dubbed “Henwe’s dinosaur car seat”, though it in no way resembles a dinosaur. At all. It does, however, have a cup holder. Bonus.

2 high school friends visited. (How many of you peeps can count your husband’s high school girl friend as one of your nearest and dearest. Yes, I am that mature. Hwa Hwa Hwa.)

8 parking lots in which Henry has pee-peed in his potty. (Mall lot near FedEx field in Marlboro, MD, the Philly Target, the Philly Ikea, the Philly Zoo, and various gas stations along I95 between VA and FL.)

1 time Henry pooped on the potty. At his BFF Jack’s house.

1 jar of M&M potty treats almost emptied.

6 times we’ve had to learn the lesson that pull-ups just aren’t that absorbent.

2 times Henry just had to wear wet pants.

4—the size diaper Gracie now wears. And yes, we’ve learned that in a pinch Henry can wear this size diaper too.

1 time Sloan peed in the bushes in the cemetery at his Grandmother’s funeral. I’m not kidding. My 36 year old husband peed behind a tree at Oaklawn Memorial Gardens in Jacksonville, FL.

1 time Sloan and I almost killed each other—while I was driving through DC. Both the GPS and Sloan were giving me directions and neither were aware of the new traffic patterns. I ended up taking us through a demilitarized zone straight through the city. At one point, I literally threw my hands in the air and said, “Stop yelling at me. I know I’m bad at this. I have no idea what I’m doing.” And yet, I was too stubborn to pull over and let Sloan drive. Sloan’s response, “Well, for starters, you should put your hands back on the wheel.” For the sake of our marriage, I am no longer allowed to drive on any road between Woodbridge, VA and Marlboro, MD.

4 hours Henry spent talking about jumping in the bounce house at the church community fun day.

0 times Henry actually went in the bounce house once we were at the church.

2 child sized pup tents purchased with air mattresses when we learned that Gracie is NOT a fan of the pack n play.

5, 280 times I’ve been stopped by strangers to be told I have a beautiful daughter.

1 Philly Cheesesteak eaten in Philadelphia. Let it be known that the Philly Zoo’s cheesesteak leaves a lot to be desired and if you can’t get to Pat’s or Gino’s—you might as well just pass it by. I will say, however, that this was the ONLY disappointment at the Philly Zoo. It was awesome.

1 umbrella purchased at zoo gift shop.

5 minutes it continued to rain after purchasing aforementioned umbrella.

600 times we’ve had to hear about the Lego Polar Bear, Lego Frog, and hot air balloon at the Philadelphia Zoo. We also enjoyed seeing all of the real live animals, but the fact that they have an exhibit showcasing life size Lego animals was the highlight of Henry’s day.

1 father who told a zoo worker he was full of s#4@. The zoo worker was telling a little kid that if he didn’t ride his bike to places he was going to kill the polar bears because of his large carbon footprint. This child was maybe 4. I wanted to kiss the kid’s dad.

10 McDonald’s hash browns eaten. Both yummy and yucky at the same time. One time Henry even ate the wrapper. Am now ordering drive through salads. Don’t know if that is any healthier, but I just can’t take any more grease.

101. How old sweet Grandma Vi was when she went to be with Jesus. She was born premature to Swedish immigrants—Ole and Hilda--in 1908, has always been blind in one eye, missed her connection from Sweden to take the Titanic back from the World’s Fair, travelled all over the world, took us to Idaho (where she was born) when she was a spry 98, and had Lasik surgery at 99. She was married to Sloan’s grandpa Chet for almost 70 years and if you ever were lucky enough to meet her she probably would’ve tried to teach you the Lord’s prayer in Swedish and invited you to lunch at Timaquana Country Club. She loved a gin and tonic with dinner and ate fruit at every meal. She was the oldest living alumna of University of Idaho (Go Vandals!), still wore her Kappa pin, and knew all the words to the song “The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi”. She made a mean coconut cake that I often just brought the pan to the couch with a fork to watch Larry King live with her. She taught Sloan how to love a high maintenance woman as he lived with her for the two years preceding our marriage.

2 times I have listened to the movie Cars coming from the back seat in the past 48 hours.

1 adoption conference spoken at. In light of my recent listening to Cars I will say this. Why I do it—because God has been so awesome to us that “I must shout my excitement to the world from the top of somewhere very high!” (Luigi, in response to meeting a real live race car). And the conference attendees response to my talk and Q & A time. Well, in the word’s of Lighting McQueen, “I create feelings in others that they themselves don’t understand.”

1 comment:

Angie said...

I can't stop laughing long enough to leave a coherent comment. Really wish I could have heard your speech at the adoption conference. I would have recognized the quote immediately. So glad to know I'm not the only one given to randomly quoting Cars. Also, The Incredibles.

"Turn right to go left! Now, why didn't I think of that?"
Elastigirl to son: "Everybody's special, Dash." Dash, scowling, "That's just another way of saying nobody is."