The Book of Awesome

Saturday we set out to carve our Methodist pumpkins. I was certain Henry would be totally into it. Pulling out the gooey insides. Squishing the pumpkin pulp. But apparently, Henry did not get this memo. Mom, I'm still not getting why you put this yucky stuff at my place if I'm not allowed to eat it. It smells pretty good--but it is kind of yucky.

So I'm just going to return some voicemails and shoot out a few text messages while you and Daddy carve these things up. Let me know when you need me.
Great Mom. An H. That's my name don't wear it out. I can't believe you made me put my phone down just so you could take a picture of me with the pumpkin.
And Holy Cow, woman! Why did you turn off the lights and take away my phone. And you won't even let me touch the candle. AAAAAUGH! (Sorry for the grainy photo, I had to "auto correct" it a lot so you could see the pickle's dismay at his cell phone being taken away.)

So while Henry was not into the pumpkin carving process, Sloan made up for it in spades. He decided to carve a batman symbol. (Pattern courtesy of Mommy's time spent teaching PreK to a bunch of boys and her awesome Batman coloring skills.) While carving it, Sloan kept saying, "I'm serious. This may just be the best pumpkin ever. Just look at it. Are you freaking kidding me?" But post carving it, Sloan decided to tidy up the inside a bit (despite my warnings of damaging the bat) and broke off part of the upper wing. I almost cried. Seriously. I think if it had been my pumpkin, I would've. Right before I made us go to Wal-Mart to get a pumpkin to replace it. But Sloan just grab some toothpicks and patched it up. But he wasn't as excited about it. I said, "Are you sure you're alright about the pumpkin?" "Yeah," he said. "There hasn't been a perfectly carved pumpkin since Jesus carved pumpkins. And then all he had to do was just stare the pumpkin down and then BAM! it was carved. You know that's where Emeril gets the Bam from right. It's from Jesus carving pumpkins."

I didn't quite know what to say. He wasn't laughing at all when he said this. He didn't even look up from his pumpkin-toothpickectomy. "Where exactly in the Bible is this pumpkin carving incident?" (I was expecting him to say, "Duh! In the Book of Awesome.") Instead, he said, "Well, if you don't know I think you should just read the Bible again. It's obviously in the New Testament!"

Sloan's awesome pumpkin.

The Phillips pumpkin patch. (Notice my boring smiley face pumpkin in the middle.)