We're still alive

If you are my facebook friend, then you know that Sloan and I kept my sister's kids whilst she and Biff went to the Homestead for their 20th anniversary. (If you are not my facebook friend, you should be.) You are thinking, wow, what a great sister. What you should be thinking is--SLOAN AND ELIZABETH ARE SAINTS AND THE BEST SIBLINGS EVER! Why?

My sister has 7 kids.

And they just moved so their house is, well, not the neatest. That is being kind. Sloan likes to say it is the house that crap built. That is not being fair to the house, because as I've written before--the house is absolutely gorgeous. It is that it has all of their stuff in it. It made me kind of itchy. Nine people's things. School books for 6 home schooled kids. 2 drum sets. 1 electric guitar, 2 acoustic. 1 piano. 7 bikes. 3 big wheels. 1 go-cart. 2 kettcars. The world's largest swing set, aptly named the big enchilada. About 18 boxes of legos. 1 rabbit. 3 large boxes of Popsicle sticks that seem to have simultaneously exploded and multiplied. Each meal's dishes filled the dishwasher. We went through 4 gallons of milk over the weekend.

Here is the rundown of kids--
Anderson, 15. Like most teenagers, he is certain that his parents are plotting against him. He also wears cologne. All the time. To the pool.
Caleb, 13. Even more so than his brother, he is sure the world is against him. According to him, he has to do all of the chores around the house while his sisters get to watch "Suite life with Zach and Cody" all day long. I told him that if that we're true, he was doing a horrible job as the house is a mess.
Rachel, 11 going on 21. We couldn't have made it through the weekend without her. She cooks, cleans, and even does diapers. All while talking non-stop.
Rebekah, 9. The perfect little babysitter for Isabel and Henry. So long as she doesn't have to brush her hair or change a diaper.
Joshua, 7 going on 72. He was up, dressed, with socks and shoes on and with brushed hair by 7 each morning.
Jonathan, 5. He is the Master of Disaster, He is on his second broken arm of the summer.
Isabel, 23 months. She is the loudest screamer I've ever heard. In the morning or when you put her down for a nap it sounds as like you are hacking her arm off with a machete.

We're saints. Or crazy. But we learned a lot.

Lesson One. Teenagers are the devil.
It is not that my sister has 7 kids that made the weekend exhausting. (The fact that her bed was uncomfortable and we ended up sleeping with our feet at the headboard didn't help.) No. It is the fact that she has 2 teenagers. Anderson and Caleb rode their bikes to the gas station down the street and managed to break a tail light out of a parked car. Anderson learned to never use the excuse "I got distracted by Caleb" while operating any mode of transportation. He also learned that when calling home to report an accident, the first words out of your mouth should be. "No one is hurt."

Lesson Two. Poopy diapers are effective disciplining tools.
Tired of hearing the older kids call each other stupid and retarded, I put into effect the poopy mouth rule--every time bile comes out of your mouth, you have to change a dirty diaper. I'm not so sure it reduced the mean talk, but I didn't have to change many of Isabel and Henry's diapers.

Lesson Three. Never underestimate a teen's ability to find a loophole.
We were at lunch on Sunday and I was sitting with Anderson and Caleb. They were making fun of one another and I reprimanded them saying, "You two are brothers. You should be blessing one another and building one another up." Their response?

Anderson: Caleb, you're not always annoying.
Caleb: Why thank you, brother. You know, sometimes you don't act like a girl.

Lesson Four. Bill Cosby is right--Kids do say the darnedest things.

Jonathan, on why he doesn't like his new house as much as his old house--"When I jump off the top bunk, I hit my head on the top of the room."

And every night at dinner I'd pose questions. Here they are.

Q1. If you could meet anyone dead or alive, who would it be? And you can't say Jesus.
Anderson: Adam. I'd tell him not to listen to Eve.
Caleb: Jessica Alba.
Rachel: Joe Jonas.
Rebekah: Cole and Dylan Sprouse. (The kids from "Suite life." They are not cute.)
Joshua: Toby Mac.
Jonathan: Tony Hawk.
Sloan: Tom and Jerry.
Elizabeth: Johnny Cash.

Q2. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Anderson: Protein cubes
Caleb: Airheads
Rachel: Sushi
Rebekah: Seafood
Joshua: Chocolate Fountain (This is my favorite answer.)
Jonathan: Bubble gum
Sloan: Lollipop Paint Shop
Elizabeth: Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

Q3. If you could give one gift to the world, what would it be? You can't say world peace.
Anderson: Inexpensive food and clean water.
Caleb: Plasma bombs (Cause this is just what the world needs.)
Rachel: A cure for cancer.
Rebekah: Puppies. Or rabbits.
Joshua: Cookies.
Jonathan: Cool stuff for their room.
Sloan: Roads.
Elizabeth: Cold fusion.

Q4. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Anderson: Professional soccer player or the first man on the women's gymnastic team. (He has a bit of a crush on Nastia)
Caleb: Venom from Spiderman.
Rachel: An actress and a singer.
Rebekah: Veterinarian
Joshua: Ironman
Jonathan: Batman
Sloan: Nightcrawler (one of the Xmen)
Elizabeth: A famous author