Resolutions and Unlikely Prophets

I've never been one for resolutions. Seems to me they are a waste of time. Maybe they are helpful in making us aware of areas we need to work on (spouses, children, and dogs are great for this too, I've found). But in my experience, every attempt to make and keep a resolution has simply been an opportunity for me to lie to myself, embarrass myself, or just plain fail.

But today, no New Year's, my birthday, or anything other than Tuesday, I am wanting to make a resolution. And, admittedly, it is an impossible resolution so it seems a bit silly to type this. But on this day, Tuesday, August 19, 2008, I resolve to remember lessons learned--I resolve to stop being shocked that God loves me and is for me. (I think I may have tried this before...) I resolve to stop worrying so danged much.

I was worried about Lolly. That no one would want her. We took her to the Petsmart adoption thingy and before we could even get her crate out of the car, we met the family that is going to take her home in a couple of days. And God was so complete in His love for us and Lolly that she is being adopted by the family that owns her litter mate, Brady. The family hadn't planned on coming to the adoption event, but was getting a new collar for Brady and saw Lolly and recognized her from when they were both at the shelter as puppies. They asked if she was Lily, I informed them of the name change, and they expressed their regret at not having adopted both of them. So I am resolving to remember that if God loves my cracked out pooch enough to reunite her with her brother, than He is far more than capable at getting me through these last few days with her.

I worry that I don't play with Henry enough. That I don't sit on the floor and build towers with him or show him flashcards. One day I tried to do nothing but pay attention to Henry and engage him and stimulate him developmentally. By 11 am I was ready to scream and the whole left side of my body had fallen asleep. I worry that I don't read him enough books. I worry that he'll sing the theme song to Barney before he sings Jesus Loves Me. I worry that he drinks too much milk. I worry that he eats too much meat and cheese and not enough vegetables. I worry that he'll always spend a lot of time making faces in the mirror. I worry that I run too quickly to comfort him when he falls. I worry that I ignore him too much when he falls. So I resolve to remember what I learned in the hospital--as much as I love Henry, it ain't squat to how God feels about him. I resolve to remember that Henry is on loan and His maker promises good to him. I resolve to remember that redeeming things is what God does and that I can't screw my child up so much that God can't straighten it out.

I worry about falling off the work-out wagon. That I'll stop going the gym and one day I'll wake up and be content being unhealthy and overweight. For this, God has sent Eminem to save me. (By the way, I am pretty sure I am the first person ever to believe God has sent Eminem to save them. Maybe I should worry about this.) My friend Mollie uses the hymn "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" to keep her grounded. I, on the other hand, use the song "Lose Yourself." It is the first track on my EJP Exercise playlist and I hear it every morning when I start my workout.

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Look, people, I've already admitted to being crazy. This is old news. So seeing Eminem as a prophet really shouldn't be shocking. I hear the slow beats and the voice of Marshall Mathers and I think, "He's right. Food stamps won't buy diapers. But I can be healthy. I can be skinny."

I probably oughtta resolve to listen to different music.