Operation Domination

I've been reading up on how to train my dog. Apparently, I have been confusing her by not being the "Alpha Dog." So now I am trying to dominate her. (I kid you not, this is the lingo all the puppy training sites use." There can be only one bitch in the Phillips house and since I still have all my girl parts--it's gonna be me.

Domination includes things like never letting her go through a door before me, making her wait until we are done eating for her to be fed, and making my hand seem like a mouth when I gently put it on her neck. I'm also supposed to be able to train her to poo on command. Considering I haven't mastered this one myself, I'm going to be slack on this. One of the things I'm supposed to do when she jumps up is to take charge of my space. To step into her as she jumps and claim the space as my own. It is very "This is your dance space and this is mine" and you just know how I love incorporating Dirty Dancing into my daily routine.

It is going okay. Not great, but okay. My first goal is for Henry to make it through a feeding without being malled by Lolly. Henry is not helping out much by throwing pieces of pasta at her. So I put the leash on her so I could pull her back onto her bed and set Henry up for his afternoon snack. What I want her to do is remain on her bed until Henry is finished eating and then when I get him out of his highchair, I'll let her clean up. And I've also decided that she needs to be lying down on her bed, not standing there barking and waiting to pounce on any stray goldfish that hits the floor. So I'd say "Bed" and pull her to her bed and wait until she laid down and then I'd give her a treat. Henry did not get attacked, but I'm thinking of counting snack time as another 20 minutes of cardio. Here are the stats--

What Henry ate: 1 banana, three strawberries, and 6 ritz crackers

Number of times I had to drag Lolly back to her bed: (I counted!) 54

What Lolly ate: Half of a hot dog and three slices of bologna

Sometimes I wondered if she was just getting off of the bed to get more meat. Can dogs be manipulative? But I know she knows what the command "Bed" means. I think I oughtta research how to get her to stay.