As a family “project” we are working together to memorize
these verses. (I know, because we’re
bored and just sitting around collectively eating bon-bons whilst twiddling our
thumbs.) It came to me one night when I
was praying. I was repenting of losing
my temper yet again. Repenting of
overreacting to disobedience, causing one child in particular to dig in her
heels, thus, I was really creating the problem through my own lack of
self-control. I said to God, “Lord, I
only know anger. I don’t know love. (Then in my mind I channeled Helen Reddy and
sang “I don’t know how to love him, what to do, how to move him… Yes, I digress in my prayer life too. Jesus is okay with it. In fact, He works with it.) I confess that I seem to always be at the end
of the rope. In fact, the rope may be
gone. But I don’t know how to love my
children well. I don’t even know what
love looks like.” And then I may or may
not have sung “I want to know what love is, I want you to show me.”
And then I heard Him.
This tiny voice that had been quieted for so long by my efforts to suck
it up and just try harder. He said, “You
do know what love is. I love you. I am love.”
And so my heart just said, “Ummm, thanks God, but how is that going to
help me when my child is losing their shit because I’ve told them they have to
cover their nipples at the table.” He
said, “I have shown you my love. And I’ve
written it down for you.”
And then I rolled my eyes.
Cause that’s the appropriate response for when the Holy Spirit reminds
you of what is true. I thought, Really
God? You’re pointing me to the cheesiest
scripture of all time?
And then I read it again with new eyes and repented my way
through it.
Love is PATIENT. So
maybe I should give my son more than three seconds to buckle himself in before
I snap at him “Why aren’t you buckling in?
Do you want the cops to take me to jail?” Maybe I should stop everything long enough to
dress the child who asks for help even though I know she is capable of dressing
herself independently.
Love is KIND. Wow. Can I even be kind? Do I even have a soft voice? I think I’ve been kind before. Maybe.
Certainly I’ve never been kind to my family on a Sunday morning when
trying to get everyone dressed, fed, and out the door. Love sees how many Legos were put away and
doesn’t mention the one Love just stepped on.
Love DOES NOT ENVY OR BOAST.
Apparently, love doesn’t have a facebook account.
Love is NOT ARROGANT OR RUDE. So love probably doesn’t judge other people
for the way they parent. Or mouth off
to its parents. Or talk about people behind their back.
Love does NOT INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY. Really? So maybe “Because I told you so” isn’t a
loving parenting response. You mean
loving my kids means focusing my parenting style on their needs and not just on
what is easiest for me? Gah. But what if I really don’t want to read Danny
the Dinosaur again? What if that means
waking up earlier so we can take the time together to pick out a school
outfit? Augh. What if that means waking up earlier so the
child who is pokey in the morning can take his time getting dressed without
having to be yelled at to hurry up. Surely
love doesn’t mean waking up earlier. God
can’t be saying that. Please Lord tell
me that at least sometimes Love means just yelling “Why can’t you just do what
I ask the first time at least once?”
What if I just yell that at my husband?
Is that cool. No? Augh.
Love is NOT IRRATABLE OR RESENTFUL. So I take this to mean that love isn’t in a
permanent state of hanger. Love doesn’t
wax nostalgically at pictures from when it had no children and could afford to
go to places like Chicago to see the Rolling Stones. Love doesn’t snap at its husband for
travelling for work, acting all pouty, holding his loving provision for us
against him.
Love DOES NOT REJOICE
AT WRONGDOING, BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH.
Love doesn’t tattle. Love doesn’t
seek out opportunities to correct. Love
isn’t hyper-sensitive. Love isn’t
bitter. Love isn’t over critical, but
paints with a wide brush of grace. Love
seeks out opportunities to lavish praise.
Love gives high fives. And
stickers. Love doesn’t slam doors. Love doesn’t shame or use sarcasm. Love doesn’t bring up fights long ago
resolved. Love looks for change and
progress, even tiny slivers of change, and celebrates them. Love’s wall are plastered with artwork.
Love BEARS ALL THINGS.
It goes to the time in couch again and again. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts and especially when
it means being late.
Love BELIEVES ALL THINGS.
Redemption is real. God is for me
and my children. He is near. He has overcome the world.
Love HOPES ALL THINGS.
This is not as good as it gets.
Jesus is making all things new.
He will walk amongst us and wipe every tear from our eyes.
Love ENDURES ALL THINGS.
It’d have to to love me. Love, in fact, endured death. For me. So I could have life.
So this is why were are memorizing these verses. I want them to wallpaper our hearts and
minds. I want God’s love to be ever
before me, changing the way I parent and love my kids. I want to be at that point of almost losing
and remember, “Love is patient and kind” and then be able to approach my
children proactively and gently, not just mad.
I want less me and more love.
Our
family needs MORE LOVE.
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