God has been working in my heart. And He is using some pretty weird agents of change--MTV. I had heard from some of you and also from our case worker that there was an episode of "16 and Pregnant" that I should watch. That it featured a couple who made an adoption plan with Bethany. I think all of you should go and watch this show now. Unless you are heartless, you may want to have several boxes of tissues with you.
I found this episode to be of seismic importance in terms of what it has done to the landscape of my heart. The birthparents, Catelynn and Tyler, are quite possibly two of the most remarkable teens I've ever seen. The dad, Tyler, has to be the most mature person to ever sport a sideways ball cap. Don't laugh at that. I'm being serious.
We have been praying for our birthmom to be surrounded by people who love and support her. After seeing this show, I cannot ask enough people to join us in this endeavor. I do not know how Catelynn and Tyler mustered up the strength to love their daughter enough to secure her a loving and stable home in the midst of being castigated by their parents for this decision. At one point, Tyler's dad basically tells him he is not a man because he isn't going to raise his daughter. Tyler's response was simply that his life, his house, his ability to parent at 16, just wasn't good enough for his daughter.
As we've read and talked about adoption, I've been harboring these fears of going through with an open adoption. That it would be awkward and strange and would threaten my feelings of being Mommy to have our child's birthparents in our child's life. I am so thankful for this show for shattering that illusion. In as much as I am already in love with our yet to be child, I am also in love with his or her birthparents. I can think of only one other example of greater love, and His sacrifice has secured My adoption into the family of God.
What greater gift could I give to my child than to open the door to a relationship with these people?
2 comments:
I'm not sure how I drifted to your blog. We are in the process of adopting our baby through an open adoption. He's two months old and finalization will be in November. I agree that this was a great episode, and the teenagers were remarkably strong. It was also very accurate.
I was leery of open adoption, too, but I can tell you it has been the most remarkable, amazing, and sometimes difficult experience. But it is worth it. My only advice is to keep an open mind and enjoy the ride. We love our son's birth mom so much. Good luck to you and your family! You will be parents again. Trust and have faith!
I love reading your blog when I have time (naps are disappearing at our house as well). Funny you wrote about this. I have seen 1, count em, 1 episode of this show, and this was it. I even thought of you as I was watching it. Before I read this post. I cannot imagine having to make the choice that these 2 young people made, but do know~as you do~the love of a parent. That they had the maturity to go through with giving their daughter up is God-given grace. Not sure I could've done it at that age! Anywho, I pray that you, Sloan & Henry cross paths with a wonderul young woman who loves her baby enough to give him or her the life that she can't, but knows you can. I am so excited for this adventure for you, and am praying for you. And for her...
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