Real Conversations (perhaps TMI)

Henry:  Hey, Mommy!  I found a rocket.  Wook! In his hand he is holding an empty tampon applicator*.

Me:  Ummmm, Henry.  That is not a rocket.  That is trash.  Please throw it away.  He obediently threw it away. 

So I continued to wash dishes.

Henry:  Wook, Mommy!  He returns to the kitchen twirling something above his head.  He is very proud of himself.  I made the trash wocket shoot this out.  It's a ghost on a string! 

I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing. 

Me:  Nope, Henry.  That's trash too.  Please throw it away.

Henry:  (very sad) So it's not a ghost on a string?

Me:  Nope.  Trash.

*Yes.  It was a clean one.

It should also be noted that this afternoon he connected two towers he built with legos with a sanitary napkin. 

Henry: Look, Mommy!  Thomas is going over the bwidge I built with the sticky sticker!
Me: (once again revelling in my stellar parenting) Where did you get that sticky sticker, Henry? 
Henry:  The diaper bag?
Me:  Henry, put the sticky sticker in the trash.  And the diaper bag is also Mommy's purse, so please don't go in there without permission. 
Henry:  Oh-kay.  And then he put the sticky sticker in the trash.  But not before affixing it to his shirt.