Pithy comment: The Trouble with titles

Senior year of high school, my English teacher was Dr. Gutsell.  Although she had some serious oddities, she is easily one of the best teachers I've ever had.  At Christmastime, we decorated a Yule tree.  She was adamant it was not a Christmas tree, despite the fact that  it was a giant Frasier fir and we spent a class time armed with glue sticks and glitter creating ornaments about our favorite scenes from Beowulf, Dickens, or Graham Greene.  In the corner of her room, she'd fashioned a sitting room complete with vinyl orange sofa and other furniture the 1970's left behind. This was so, on occasion, we could all relax and wax philosophical about the literature we'd read. Very bohemian.  It could have only been more hip if we'd traded that Yule tree in for an Espresso machine all the girls donned berets and the boys, goatees. 

My two favorite oddities were in regards to writing--all papers had to be HANDWRITTEN on UNLINED paper with a FOUNTAIN PEN complete with a title page that did NOT have our name on it.  The anonymity of the title page was so that we could, on the days papers were due, sit in the hipster corner and listen to her read each title aloud.  She would read the title aloud and then as though she was Johnny Carson doing his Amazing Kreskin sketch, she would predict whether or not the paper was any good, would be enjoyable to read, or perhaps (egads?!) a total snoozefest.  (Okay, she probably didn't use that term.  She probably said something like "That sounds rather insipid..." or sigh and say, "How banal".)

Many parents complained--particularly about their children having to write in their papers longhand when we all had mighty fine Apple IIGS's at home.  But I loved the writing everything out.  It required being deliberate.  And I found the constant smear of ink on my hand made me feel like a very serious writer. And the titles?  Dude, I was all over it!!!  I would usually select some obscure yet pithy quote from the book followed by a colon followed by yet another profound statement that better explains the thesis of the paper.  I only remember one title.  I'd written about Graham Greene's crime novel, Brighton Rock.  My paper's title--"This were a fine reign: How to get away with murder".  It was deemed a title that peaked the interest of the reader.  She was looking forward to reading the paper. 

Since then, I have loved the challenge of coming up with witty titles.  You may have noticed that about this blog.  The trouble with this is, out of context, I have no idea what these titles mean.  I have complained about this before.  And I'm putting another draft of my book together and looking to see if there are any chapters of things I've left out and am searching old computer files. And apparently, when writing thesis papers, I tend to title the documents with whatever I am feeling at the time.

Imagine my delight when I stumble upon the following titles and paper subjects that I wrote for graduate school.  Funnier still when you remember that my degree is from a SEMINARY.  HA!!! You will be happy to see that my "quote:explanation" form is still in tact.

• This damn paper is worth 50% of my grade.doc-- For a Christian Education class, actually titled  Hope Deferred: The Effects of Rape on Emotional and Spiritual Development. 
• Draft 2 of mother-effing paper.doc--For my Old Testament class, actually called For in this hope we were saved: Romans 16:20 as the Fulfillment of Genesis 3:15
• Prof. W can suck it.doc--For a New Testament class, actually called You Foolish Galatians: A Writer looks at Paul's use of Sarcasm.