"Oh, is that a family name?" Meaning: You picked a weird name for your kid. Response: Henry is NOT a weird name. But yes, it's his paternal great-grandfather's name and the name of Elizabeth's favorite seminary prof.
"He's a handful." Meaning: You have no control over your kid, do you? Response: No. No I do not. So it is a good thing he's just naturally sweet and relatively obedient.
"Wow. He's busy." Meaning: 1. Does he ever sit down? 2. What are you feeding that kid? Crack? 3. HOLY FREAKIN' COW THAT KID NEVER STOPS! (When said by your brother-in-law who has 7 kids, 4 of whom are boys.) Response: He is why God made gates. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do when he is able to climb over them (something he is currently tries to do.)
"We don't believe in TV." Meaning: 1. You're a bad parent. 2. My child will be smarter than yours. Response: I don't believe in TV, either. I believe in Jesus. And sometimes I like to bathe. Or cook a meal. Or go to the bathroom. And my child never, I repeat, never sits down unless Curious George is on and because he never sits down--he could sooooo kick your child's butt. So there."
"You didn't watch the ball drop? How could you not watch the ball drop?" Meaning: You're old. Response: You're right. I drank a half-bottle of Spumante, watched House, and then settled into bed with my book, New Moon. (I got the Twilight series for Christmas. Soooo shamefully addictive despite being horribly written.) I think I'm going to be a Jacob fan, no matter how hot Cedric Diggory, er, I mean Edward Cullen is.
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