How to love the crazy adoption people...

My dear friend Lisa, along with her family, is in Lithuania.  They have adopted the adorable Asher and Annalise, 4 year old twins.  Asher and Annalise join sibling Adeline and Alden.  These friends are precious to us.  We met them only a year ago through a mutual friend but it was an instant love connection.  Our husbands get along; our kids want to marry one another.  And we all love Jesus and adoption and pizza from Costco.  (You, know, the trinity of important things…)

Anywhoozie, Lisa is about to come home and I’m just reupping my blog and I thought I’d reflect on our first few weeks home in order to help her.  Most friends, though well meaning, have zero idea what it is like to bring an older child into your family through adoption.  It is foreign and so those well meaning friends often do harm when they mean to help, or worse yet, do nothing at all.  So here is my version of how to love an adoptive family.

First of all, read Jen Hatmaker’s How to Be the Village.  Jen does an excellent job of setting the stage of what adoptive family’s go through after the big hoopla of the airport moment. 

Many people will say “Oh, you went from 2 to 4!  It’s like you brought home twins from the hospital!”  Um, yes, but a bajillion times harder.  It’s similar because your expenses doubled and you are sleeping approximately 2 hours a night, but that is really where the similarity ends.  Babies are pretty easy.  You have a baby and people expect you to be tired and bring you stuffed animals and meals and the world’s cutest socks but really all you are doing is wiping poop, producing milk, and watching Netflix whilst the smooshy balls of flesh sit still where you put them.  I mean, a baby doesn’t crawl under the bed in defiance right before your in-laws show up to meet their grandchild for the first time.  A baby can’t lob the remote at your head or stand on the kitchen table or forget that you said to not eat the soap.  You bring home two preschool children and despite the fact that you are getting no sleep and these kids don’t know what you are saying nor what it means to be in a family, everyone asks you to meet them at a park and to touch them like they’re the newest addition to the petting zoo… “Ooooh, their hair is so soft, I never expected that!” 

Ouch, Elizabeth, now it sounds like I will just screw it all up, when I want to love my friends.  What can I do????

Make meals.  We were blessed with meals three times a week for close to two months.  There were so very many days that I’d been up for so long and spent so much time in “come to Jesus” meetings on the time in couch that I couldn’t form sentences, much less a meal. (And did I mention that while I was in those time-ins with one child, the other children were unfolding the five loads of laundry I’d just folded while we watched Cars two times in a row.) A couple of weeks ago, I was so proud because I’d planned this yummy crock pot meal.  I’d set the table!  We were using real (not paper) plates!  I’d even managed to sweep up the cereal from breakfast, so our kitchen was neat.  And then it was around 5pm that my darling husband noticed I’d forgotten to actually turn on the crock pot.  Y’all, I would’ve cried, but by this point, I was so used to dropping all the ball all the time that I realized from now on my role as Mom was to just roll the ball.  I could no longer juggle. So we went out for pizza. 

So cook.  And make something normal, please.  No lentil salad or tofu lasagna.  It does the family no good if you bring over some wackadoo meal and they still have to order pizza to feed the family.  Because chances are they’ve already had pizza three times already this week.

Do the grocery shopping.  If you live near the family, whenever you go to the grocery store, text your friend.  Sometimes you picking up a gallon of milk or another 8 pack of yogurt will save the day, and really, how hard is that?  Things that would be a blessing to a just home from the airport family:

-milk
-cereal
-frozen pizzas (are you recognizing a theme here?)
-eggs
-kid friendly yogurt
-oreos
-goldfish (and other “pack in lunch” items especially if they have school aged kids too)
-bread
-rice
-deli meat
-spaghetti sauce
­­­-bag of salad
-paper plates
-small plastic cups (not giant 16 oz solos, but ones for kids)
-paper towels (seriously!!!!)
-kids’ band-aids
-fruit: bananas, apples, grapes, clementines, strawberries (things that are healthy that can be offered to a child that has known starvation at anytime without a parent having to feel guilty)
-ice cream
-beer
-wine (lots!)

Fold laundry.  Come over one night after the kids’ bedtime and offer to watch TV and fold laundry. Most likely, your friend will first refuse this offer.  Offer again.  Say, “How about I just fold the kids’ laundry and linens?  You won’t even have to say words or think or even help, you can just tell me how you like your shirts folded and stare off into the mid-distance.”  A friend did this for me and I still cry when I think about it.  In fact, I hired a friend to come for a couple of hours every week just to fold my laundry and vacuum.  Adopted kids often regress in the potty department so it is not abnormal for the addition of adopted kids to multiply the laundry exponentially. Maybe your friend thought they were potty trained but they aren’t.  Or maybe they don’t know how to wipe and so even though the kid is going in the potty, they still have to change clothes 47 times a day.  Or perhaps the kid is so ecstatic about having their own clothes that they don’t have to share with anyone and drawers to call his own that the child changes clothes every 5 minutes.  Your friend knows she should probably say something but a)how can you blame a kid who has had so little for so long, and b) that would probably require moving and/or dodging a shoe.  Or *cough, cough* maybe a child who has been in the home since birth with the addition of two new siblings has suddenly lost the ability to go pee and poo in the potty but also refuses to wear pull ups because she’s been in panties for over a year. 

Check in.  Send texts.  Most likely your friend is lonely and starved for adult conversation.  And possibly homicidal because of all the pee and poo everywhere.  That said, don’t assume that because things are hard they regret their decision.  Or maybe they momentarily regret it.  With a lower case “r”.  Which then makes them feel guilty and horrible.  So don’t say things like, “What?  Is it harder than you thought it would be?”  Because more than likely your friend has spent hours researching and training, but when the time comes, no one really knows what to do when your child screams and thrashes and throws whatever loose object they can find at your head for 45 minutes because you dared to strap them into the car seat. And don’t say things like, “Well at least you are now together!”  Because that completely negates your friend’s feelings.  It’s like telling a woman with severe morning sickness she should be thankful for the puke on her shirt. 

Your friend has done things she never thought she’d do in these trying times—let the TV stay on 24 hours (hey—it’s teaching them English!), gone to the pharmacy in pajamas, yelled at the kids so loudly her throat was raw, seriously pondered nudism as a means to reduce the laundry, driven around aimlessly for two hours because all of the kids fell asleep in their carseats, cussed out her spouse, given the kids bubble wands then locked them outside, and locked herself in the bathroom with her phone (that candy isn’t going to crush itself). 

Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE PARENTING ADVICE unless you yourself have parented an adopted child.  It’s so very different.  And it’ll make your friend want to punch you in the face.  You know how it’ll take ten minutes to get out the door with your kids, so you just say, “Fine then! We are leaving without you.  Goodbye.”  You can’t say that to a kid who has actually been abandoned.  To a kid who has been abandoned or orphaned through death, you can’t send them to their room when they misbehave.  They’ve already been sent an ocean away from everything they know.  Every parenting decision, every consequence given,  must be done through the lens of trust-building, relationship affirming.  So when you see your friend offer a do- over to a kid who just hit her because he’s mad, don’t say, “Oh, in my house that would get a whoopin’.”  Because more than likely, your friend’s adopted kid has already had more than his fair share of whoopins’ and your friend is trying to both earn her kids’ trust and also teach him the appropriate way to deal with his anger and disappointment.  Kids who come from hard places have this intense internal struggle.  How do I grab on to this new family while grieving the loss of my first family?  How do I suddenly accept help from a parent when I’ve done it all on my own for so long?  How do I accept that these people are telling me I’m precious and adored when the circumstances of my life tell me differently?  These are very difficult and adult and complex emotions being sorted out by teensy tiny immature people.  It's no wonder there is crap everywhere.  (Gosh, why won't she stop talking about poop?)

Send your friend money, gift cards, jewelry.  No really.  Money because adoption is expensive and more than likely, your friend has at least 10k in debt.  And the need to pay it off isn’t helping your friend relax in the 2 hours a day she gets alone.  Gift cards because your friend needs a million things from Target and WalMart.  She needs pants because their newly home child has gained 7 pounds in two months.  Baby wipes because one of the children put two bins of wipes down the toilet.  A plunger (see previous sentence).  More Doritos, because, well, just because.    And getting to go shopping without having to price out every little thing is such a joy and Target has baskets that three kids can be strapped in so it’s the closest to normal your friend has seen in awhile.  And jewelry, because, y’all, she needs it.  A dear new friend gave me the cutest Stella and Dot studs yesterday at church.  Just because she loved me and wanted me to feel special and loved.  Oh my goodness.  I may not have bathed today but on my ears are the loveliest pair of sparkling earrings reminding me that Jesus sees me and is for me and so is my buddy Nicole.  Even if I can smell myself, especially when I can smell myself.  

We’ve been home almost 4 months.  And this crap is still happening.  (Though, honestly, a lot less.  Or at least the kids have gotten used to the car seats and now all sleep in their own beds.  Most of the time…)

Ok, so now you are thinking, holy heck!  What did my friend sign on for?  Why on earth would anyone adopt?  Go into debt and get shoes thrown at me? No, thank you.  Because while it is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done/am doing in my life, it is also the most joyful.  There are days it feels like death.  But even those days bring me closer to my Jesus than ever.  I know what my adoption cost him.  It was bloody and precious.  And well, this holy calling of adoption puts our family in this raw place of genuine living that it’s almost a high.  A joyful intensity that can only be accurately described as bordering lunacy.  Unbeknownst to him, I think adoptive families are the ones Keroac wrote about:

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!!! And the chicken goes to...

First off, let me take a beat again to thank the Mercer family for providing the prize for this week's giveaway.  What a blessing.  Secondly, I want to thank everyone who donated.

I went into this giveaway thinking we would raise $500 or so.  Secretly hoping for about $900 (approximately the cost of one child's one way plane ticket home).  But God had other plans.

I was worried that no one would donate and it would be awash in just folks sharing.  Nope.  I think maybe three people shared who didn't also donate?  And most people donated above the minimum donation of $10.  And it wasn't all just my close buddies donating.  Old friends came out of the woodwork.

At one point, Sloan saw me writing a name on a big stack of tickets.
He said, "Who is that?"
"Oh, just a guy I made out with in high school after Young Life..."  
"Just how many people that you've kissed donated?"
"In this contest?  (Pause) Two."

Husbands love that kind of generosity. Whatever. That was awesome.

Strangers also donated.  I used to make fun of Sloan for his obsession with the Jay Mohr Sports show  (like he gets on air and talks and has his tweets read on air so much that he is in some type of club and we've won gift cards).  No more.  Some of his fellow "Twitter Hat Trick Club" members donated. And donated big time.

All in all there were 493 entries.  We raised $1787.50. Which is basically 10 days of our hotel stay.  Or both kids plane tickets.

So who won?  Without further ado, I give you the video whose working title is "Maybe not get on video in your pajamas..."

So in case you're too lazy or the threat of seeing me half asleep is just too much for you to bear...

THE WINNER IS ELIZABETH STEVENS!!!!

I could not be happier for my college roomie and sorority sister, ET.  (Yes, we were ET and EJ.  People loved us.)  Lest you feel bad for not winning, know these free chicken dinners are going to a family who serves our country.  ET's husband is a Marine pilot.  And when I want to pout because my husband travels, I remember ET and I shut my mouth.  In my memory, they've lived in San Diego, Texas, back to San Diego, and are now in Virginia and her husband has done several tours overseas.  And never have I heard her complain.  Mainly I just see her loving her three young kids, serving in her church, and kicking butt at CrossFit.  But it just makes me so happy to give it to a family that serves our country.  Because not only do our service men and women deserve our gratitude, so do the wives, husbands, and kids who share them with us.  Who pray and wait for them to return home.  I wish I had nuggets to give to them all.

So Elizabeth Stevens, you're our winner!  Congrats!  I'll get these in the mail to you this week.  xoxo

CFA Giveaway

We have been so blessed to know and be known by the sweet Mercer family.  Their oldest girls have babysat our kids and their youngest two kids are playmates for Henry and Grace.  We think of them as family.    We even had the treasure of double dating with our eldest nephew Anderson and their daughter Makenzie.  And if you ever try to tell Grace her yellow clad Princess Barbie is Belle, she will quickly tell you that no, it’s her “Miss Kenzie bah-bee.”  They pray for our adoption process because they know first hand the stressors of international adoption, their youngest two being adopted from Guatemala just prior to the country’s adoption shutdown.

Why am I going on and on about how awesome they are?

Because they have gone and donated a YEAR’S WORTH OF CHICK-FIL-A  for us to give away. What?  You know those 52 #1 meal cards that people camp out for before a store opening?  Yeah.  Those.  It’s over a $300 value!!!

So how do you win these?  Here’s how:

DONATE to our adoption fund through our WEPAY account in the left hand sidebar.  (Right above the awesome fundraiser shirt that you totally need…or, you know, just click the embedded link.)

FOR $10 you get 2 entries.

FOR $25 you get 7 entries.                  

FOR $50 you get 15 entries.

 You can also share for 1 FREE ENTRY PER DAY until the raffle closes on Friday, June 21, 2013 at 5pm ET.  

So share on Facebook!  If you share on Twitter—tag Sloan to track it (@VaGamecock) and use the hashtag #phillipsadopt.  If you share on Instagram—tag me (@ejphillips) and also use the #phillipsadopt hashtag.  If you pin it to pinterest, same deal—mention me in the comments @ejphillips.  No more than one free entry a day (so that’s a possible 5 free entries), but you will still get major props from me if you blast it from all of your social media outlets or share on your blog 4 million times a day. 

The winner will receive 52 #1 meal cards.  They will be issued with our local CFA’s name on them (Brandermill/Hull Street), but are usable at any US Chick-Fil-A.  They will also come with a certificate of authenticity from Todd Mercer in the event the winner should run into any problems. 

In order to coordinate the donations and social media shares, we will be doing this raffle old school style: names written on pieces of paper and drawn from a box.  The winner will be drawn by Henry by 10 am on Saturday, June 22, 2013.  I will upload what I’m sure to be an adorable video of this event.

But wait?  Elizabeth, aren’t you scared that no one will donate and everyone will just share for their 5 free entries.  Yes.  I’m actually petrified of that.  Because we have travel expenses to raise.  And we are looking at AT LEAST $8000 in airfare.  Between $1500-$3000 in hotel expenses.  And then we also hope to have about $4,000 walking around cash for the three weeks we are in country for food, fabric, gifts, taxi fare, tips, etc.  And none of our in country expenses can be made on the credit card.  So folks, donate.  Get your friends to donate.  Share.  Share again.  

And then win some chicken. 

Repeat after me: God is not surpised, God is not surprised...

The above has been my mantra as of late.

Soooo...remember how I told you that we had some time before we travelled.  That I was content to wait until the fall without even a remote possibility of travel this summer.  No looking over my shoulder, constantly checking my email to see if the embassy was scheduling things for us.  A little breathing room to have date nights and do some last minute nesting and much needed fundraising...

Well, maybe not.  Or maybe so.  We just. don't. know.

The US now recognizes Charlie and Mollie as our next of kin.  So the next steps are an investigation to insure that they meet US definitions of orphans (this is to insure there has been no child trafficking and ethical practices in the adoption--a time consuming but necessary step).  After that, they get a visa.  Then we go pick them up.  Then we wait a bit for their home country's gov't to do some things and we come home after a 2-3 week stay in country.

The embassy has offered us an opportunity to do something at the end of June which could mean we would travel this summer.  Or not.  And we may not even be able to the thing which they want us to do no matter how hard we try.  (Sorry if this is cryptic, but it's complicated.  Just know that several people's schedules need to align for a meeting at which we aren't needed in order to conduct our orphan investigation.) So there are A LOT of variables.  Will we be able to find the party needed to go to the meeting for an interview about our children's past?  Will we be able to raise the funds needed in order to pay for that person to fly 1,000 miles to even get to the embassy?  If that person goes to the embassy, will the Embassy be able to finish our orphan investigation then and there or will they still need to travel to our kid's hometown in late August to finish the investigation?  When our agency asked what the likelihood of further delays after this meeting would be, they answered in broad generalizations--much like a doctor would when asked by a sick patient "Hey, am I going to live?"   

If they are satisfied at the interview, the next step is an embassy appointment.  Our attorney will take our kids to this for us and also to their embassy medical appointment.  If those things check out, then our kids would get their visas to come home to America.  And then we would travel about 10 days later.

So if you are confused, welcome to the club.  There are a lot of us waiting Congolese adoptive parents here.

This also means a couple other things, a shortened timeline to travel means I need to get packing.  I need to start stock piling new monetary bills.  (Because we have to pay for everything in country in cash.  Like everywhere.  For three weeks in a hotel.)  And all of the bills need to be new and crisp.  And we have to have paid our agency's bill completetly.  We have to pay to fly the necessary party to the meeting.  Oh, and our agency doesn't take credit cards.  So basically, we don't have the luxury of just putting the last minute details on the credit card, which is a blessing and a curse.

So pray for us.  Jesus knows our needs and has not brought us this far to leave us hanging.  We know that.

And you can buy a tshirt.  Or seven.

And don't forget to bookmark our search page with Amazon.  Just by buying off the link in our sidebar, we get between 4-7% of your purchase.  It's win-win.  I'll give a shout out to the best purchase.  So far, the item to beat is a Hen Apron. 

And in the next week or so I'll be putting together a super fun raffle for a year's worth of Chik-fil-A.  I'm just sort of hammering out the details now.

This has been a marathon.  And I am not a runner.  So I'll say I'm weary of the fundraising. But I'll limp across the finish line to get my babies.  Charlie has the biggest smile on the planet and I can't wait to be the cause of his smile.  And Mollie?  Well, let's just say in every picture she is wearing jewelry.  So I'm packing some nail polish to paint her piggy toes.  So if I seem like I'm whining about the cost, forgive me. This is nothing in comparison to the cost my Savior bore to adopt me.  Nor it is even a smidgen of the blessing that has been bestowed upon us. 

Charlie and Mollie, already you have taught me endurance.  You have enlarged my heart.  You have taught me of my Father's yearning for me in ways I never would have guessed.  Thank you.

Zeta Is Forever

One of the gifts of fundraising for our adoption (aside from God using folks to help us raise the necessary money to fetch our kids) has been the unexpected love and generosity we have felt from friends and loved ones.  Most particularly, right now I want to thank my sorority sisters.  Women with whom I shared my college years are stepping into the gap for us.  And not just the ones I keep in contact with on a regular basis.  Yes, the handful of girls whom I see and chat with have helped.  Of course.  But so have women I haven't seen in 15 years.  Women I wasn't even really all that close to to begin with.

I'll say it.  I was pretty popular in my sorority.  I had friends in lots of circles because, well, (and Sloan rolls his eyes whenever I say this) I am a Ferris Bueller type.  I get along well with churchy types, artsy types, preppies, hipsters, debutantes, immigrants, athletes, nerds, and lushes.  Mainly because I'm a little bit of all of them.  I'm fairly certain I was one of the few sorority girls to work in Student Television.  I mean, I was a debutante who wore sneakers under my ball gown.  I can blend pretty much anywhere.  I tend to be genuine and turns out, most people find that they can let their hair down with me because my hair is always unkempt.  (Ok, so maybe I'm not humble...)  But sometimes these hodge podge affiliations can leave me feeling like maybe I'm just on the outskirts of everything, never really "in" with anyone. 

But my Zeta sisters are proving me wrong.  You guys are donating money, items for the auction, prayers and kind words.  And I am undone.  You are proving all of those haters who say the Greek system is a waste of time and a distraction wrong.  Yes, maybe we did party too much and all wear the same black pants and carry the same Kate Spade purse.  But we care.  You are showing me that we are sisters after all.  That Zeta really is forever.  And for that I am ever thankful. 

Our creed still holds true:

To realize that within our grasp, in Zeta Tau Alpha, lies the opportunity
to learn those things which will ever enrich and ennoble our lives; to be true
to ourselves, and to those within and without our circle; to think in terms
of all mankind and our service to the world; to be steadfast, strong, and clean
of heart and mind, remembering that since the thought is father to the deed,
only that which we would have manifested in our experience should be entertained
in thought; to find satisfaction in being, rather than seeming, thus strengthening
in us the higher qualities of the spirit; to prepare for service and learn the
nobility of serving, thereby earning the right to be served; to seek understanding
that we might gain true wisdom; to look for the good in everyone; to see
beauty, with its enriching influence; to be humble in success, and without bitterness
in defeat; to have the welfare and harmony of the Fraternity at heart, striving
ever to make our lives a symphony of high ideals, devotion to the right, the good,
and the true, without a discordant note; remembering always that the
foundation precept of Zeta Tau Alpha was love, "the greatest of all things".

MIA

Sooooo we've been busy.  First this happened.

That's a box full of our fundraising adoption Tshirts.  Or, more specifically, the first of two boxes.  This is the box full of the adult shirts sized M and larger.  The other box?  Well...let's just say I know why the US Postal service is going out of business.  The box left Memphis the same time as this one but has yet to be located.  An investigation has been started.  So peeps who've ordered kids' shirts or
 are skinny?  Not to worry.  You'll get your shirt.  You'll just have to wait.  Consider this your opportunity to empathize with us in our adoption journey.  And for folks who haven't ordered yet?  There's still time.  And we plan to put in another order because we've already sold out of some sizes in some colors.  So if you want one that isn't listed, just shoot me an email and I'll mark you down for one in the reorder.

But they look great!

As you can see, the shirts are awesome.  They are super soft.  Like that shirt you "rented" from the gym in college and then you just eventually stole?   Yeah.  They're like that.  I've pretty much worn mine every day.  And they'll be perfect for sticky summer days in Richmond and perfect to take to Kinshasha.  Sorting them and shipping them out, as you can see, has been tedious with my "helpers".  But we still have some left and with each email I get telling me another one has sold, I am encouraged.  Encouraged that we are not alone in pining for our children.  Encouraged that some other folks are stepping into the gap to help us financially.  Which is a HUGE HUGE help.

And we also did this...

 This is Sloan making jokes about getting undressed infront of his wife and another woman.

 So he could do this.
 

So we could get these.  Our Yellow Fever Cards.  We also got our typhoid pills, malaria med prescriptions, and meds for Traveller's GI issues.

What's next for us?  Filling out loads of immigration paperwork, prepping for our Facebook Auction coming up the second week of April (yes, there's still time to donate gift cards, handmade items, and any other thing you have that you might think would bring us some cash), and celebrating reaching the end of our CONA wait period.  YAHOO!

(Oh, and we got a be stack of files from our agency with our kids' paperwork and THEY NOW HAVE THE LAST NAME PHILLIPS!)

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

Soooo trying to figure out the best way to collate all the likes & shares to figure out the winner of the Do Justice Tshirt made my brain ache. And I'm not entirely certain I was clear in my directions. So to simplify I gave everyone who liked the Blog 1 entry & then 1 additional entry for each share, like, and/or comment on the specific Tshirt post.

All in all there were 86 entries. I wrote them all out while watching the Season Finale of Suits. {Sidebar: USA, your seasons are too short. I don't care if Harvey is coming back this summer,I want him now. All the time. But thanks for bringing Dule Hill back next week.}

Then I popped over to the random number generator. Aaaaaaaand the winner is: SARAH BYRD! Friend, writer extraordinaire, former boss. Let me know your size & color preference and you get your Do Justice Tshirt for free!

For those of you who waited to order in hopes of winning, don't worry. We will still take your money. The first printing of the Tshirts have been ordered. We had around 60 pre-orders, but ordered more to fill incoming orders. And we can (and hope to need to) order more.

So shop away my friends! 100% of the proceeds go to helping us bring Charles & Mollie home.

Fundraising Friday: Facebook Auction Coming in April!

Starting April 7^th, I will be hosting an online Fundraising Auction to help us raise money for our adoption expenses.  The auction will run from Sunday , April 7^th at 1 pm until Saturday, April 13^th at 8pm.  I will create an album of pics of items for you to preview the week before over on the Elizabethtown Blog Facebook Page.  {So, you know, you should totally "like it".  You can do so on the sidebar over there <-------- all="" are="" br="" cool="" doing="" it.="" kids="" nbsp="" the="">

I would love it if you had an item you would be willing to donate.  Maybe you own a small business and could offer up a gift card to said business.  Perhaps you enjoy sewing and could make a dress to sell.  Or perhaps you sell a product?  Or maybe you have relatively few skills but know how to buy a gift card at Kroger.  {We will auction off the gift card, you can keep the bonus gas points.}

No worries if you do not live in the Richmond area.  Some items WILL be limited to the RVA area.  But most things are shippable.  Or maybe you are a photographer in Winnipeg.  Well, I could post that you are donating a photography session on the auction.  You could then blast your business’ clients to advertise and they could bid and it would all get taken care of in Winnipeg.  {wherever that is…}  

For larger items, you can either ship them to me and I can take a picture for the auction and ship to the winner, or you can email me a picture of the item and then you would just ship the item to the winner directly.  So long as the item is shipped in a timely manner, it’s all the same to me.  Whatever is easiest for you.

Or perhaps you have no skills and no money but do have a facebook account….well as it gets closer I will be calling all of my peeps to donate their Facebook Status advertising about the auction to get people to bid on items. 

Or maybe your grandma gave you a bathrobe for Christmas and you haven’t even unwrapped it from it’s packaging because who needs a 7^th bathrobe?  Yeah, we can auction that off too. Just so long as it is a new item.

Things people have already donated thus far:  2 $25 Fandango Gift Cards, $100 Amex Gift Card, A new in Box Rumba vacuum, 31 products, a custom painted painting, ABERNATHY BLAND ART {holy freaking cow, y'all, this is wicked awesome!!!}, a Scentsy stuffed animal with an insert, a handmade custom quilt, a handmade custom mesh wreath, a credit for an Origami Owl necklace, Handmade boutique jewelry, as well as many of my own PlumPanda creations such as necklaces, picture frames, hair accessories, and wreaths.  Some of the stuff is being donated by relative strangers—I posted about it on some adoptive mommy forums I’m a member of and have been blown away by the generosity of others.  

What a treat it will be to recount to our children how many folks God used to knit our family together. 

FUNDRAISER FRIDAY--FREE TSHIRT GIVEAWAY!!

The mock ups for the Fundraising Tshirts are in!  You can pre-order yours NOW at our Adoption Fundraising Store at Big Cartel.

I drew out the verse Micah 6:8 in the shape of Africa, reminding us to "Do Justice, LOVE mercy & walk humbly."

For the adult T-shirts, the image is printed in white ink on SUPER SOFT T-shirts in charcoal, heather orange, and Carolina blue.

Available in adult sizes XS-XXL.  $20

For the children's T-shirts, the image is printed in white ink on heavyweight Tshirts in charcoal, Carolina blue, and (of course) pretty princess pink.

Available sizes XS-XL $17

We will be taking pre-orders for the next two weeks to underwrite the cost of printing them. You can pre-order at the Adoption Store linked above, as well as in the sidebar here.  You can also find it on the Elizabethtown Facebook page.

We are also hosting a GIVEAWAY.

To WIN A FREE Do Justice Tshirt, please "LIKE" Elizabethtown Blog then share this post on Facebook. Then comment below the post on Facebook.

For the last three people on the planet who aren't on Facebook, comment below and you can be entered in as well.  The winner will be chosen on February 22nd.  Like and share away!

Tiny Bubbles

So about two weeks ago I gave up soda.  Maybe a little for health reasons.  Maybe a little for "because it seems to be the hip thing to do these days" reasons.  And definitely because I was tired of spending money on it.  As we head into the home stretch of the adoption, we are tightening our budgetary belts around here and that seemed a pretty easy thing to cut.  Of course, Sloan is NOT giving it up, so I'm still buying it in 2 liter bottles.  Because that's cheaper and well, I'm too lazy to pour myself a drink.  Which is kinda what got me addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper in the first place. 

And I miss it.  A lot.  Many of my facebook status updates are about how much I miss soda.  And how all those people who say sparkling water is yummy are charlatans.  Yes, the lie is so egregious that I am forced to use fancy words to describe the lie's enormity.  And I have it on good authority from friends who kicked the habit months and years ago that this longing for soda does not go away.  So that's awesome. 

And yet.

Monday I drank 1 soda.  And not just any soda, but an Orange Fanta.  I drank it slowly.  Deliberately.  At one point, I misplaced my glass of orangey deliciousness and I had to call in a search party and offer a reward.  (By search party, I mean I texted Sloan to "COME UP FROM YOUR OFFICE AND HELP ME FIND MY FANTA OR I'M GONNA CUT SOMEBODY."  And by reward, I mean that I did not, in fact, cut somebody.)  The soda was by my cellphone.  Which was also lost.  Because it was in the middle of the kitchen island. 

Why Fanta? 

Well, folks, we had a court date in the DRC.  And in the Congo, Orange Soda is the drink of celebration.  It is the penultimate sign of luxury.  Well, that and eating protein.  (This is the part of the blog post where we all get a little perspective.  When we pop champagne and sear the filet, the Congolese drink a Fanta and boil an egg.)

So what does this mean?  Well...unfortunately, it means we still have a ways to go but that we are on our way.  I am hopeful we will be traveling this summer.  Could something happen between now and then to push that back, of course.  The adoption laws in the country have changed even since we began.  Because of the popularity of the country's program, the US government is keeping a more watchful eye on agency's and the kids.  And this is a GOOD thing. 

But basically, there is paperwork to be translated and checked.  Then some wait times.  Then some more paperwork and certificates.  Then a judge says, "YUP!  They are yours."  Then we can apply for immigration stuff and visas and passports.  Once those are in, then we can pick our kids up.  Oh, and at some point in the process our agency will fly our kids from where they live now to the capitol to live in a foster home set up there.  (Remember, there are no roads in DRC and this would basically be like going from Miami to St. Louis.)  We will also have to fly up our children's living relative to the capitol so that they can be interviewed by the Embassy to make sure that they understand what international adoption is and is not and that they were not coerced or bribed.

So while the majority of the adoption has certainly been paid for (and God has been so gracious to meet every adoption related need when it was necessary), there are still some pretty big things coming up.  Not the least of which is airline travel.  We've learned that it is typically impossible to use frequent flyer points for travel to DRC because we will receive our letter of invitation to travel on a Wednesday or so and leave the following weekend.  We are looking into other avenues such as credit card points and such and will certainly reach out if that looks like a possibility. 

But we've got some exciting things in the works as to fundraisers.  I've designed a cool Tshirt (yes, I designed it and I'm the one declaring it cool) and will also be gathering items for a Facebook Auction. 

But for now, I'm looking forward to the next tiny step towards C & A, when I will raise my glass of orange bubbly and toast their sweet faces and how dear they are to me. 

(But I will most certainly not be pouring any of the bubbly out for my homies, my kids or anyone else, because y'all, Fanta is really freaking awesome.)