Showing posts with label Lent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lent. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

meet the sweetness



I’ve been hesitant to write this or say this out loud for fear of jinxing us.  But I’m going to do it.  

Grace has exited the terrible twos.  

People, her twos were terrible.  Thank you to my dear friends who didn’t judge me but prayed for me as I cried and cried in a mall play place because I just couldn’t bear to face another day of it.  I am thankful for the phase teaching me to rely on Jesus to redeem all of mistakes and to prepare me for the extraordinary high maintenance parenting that is in my future.  The long and short of it is that I just cannot self-produce love and Grace’s terrible twos helped to completely dash that illusion. 
If nothing else, Grace’s “terrible two” phase taught me that it’s not just Lent that is for repentance.  Because I had to repent every.single.day for the way I was impatient, exasperated, and just all around hard-hearted with her.  And still, God and the girl love me. 

Ever since Thanksgiving, she has softened.  It is as though we are getting to meet our daughter for the first time and we adore her.  We get to meet the soft and kind and spunky girly-girl that her preschool teachers kept telling us about, rather than the tiny terrorist that once sat at our kitchen table.

So allow me to re-introduce you to our daughter.

This girl loves her Daddy.  She wants to sit by him at every meal and adores bounding into our room in the morning to give him his wake-up snuggles.  But she also adores me.  Beyond explanation.  Apparently all those times I lost my temper while sitting with her on the steps didn’t scar her.  She cradles my face and tells me she loves me, she really loves me.

She loves to sing and bounce.  In particular, she loves Hip Hop music.  I’m embarrassed to confess that if she asks about Beauty and the Beast, she isn’t referring to Belle and the Disney Classic.  She is requesting Justin Beiber.  She also requests “Tay-bor Wift”, “Kesha”, and “Twift Pop”.  She has, on more than one occasion, had a full on temper tantrum because I could not find “Juttin Beeeeeeeeeeber” on the radio.  At some point, I’m going to have to break down and download some of her faves.  I also may have taught my kids that Britney is singing “Britney Ditch.”  Just play along.  

She has never seen a musical she doesn’t love.  Her current favorite is the Wizard of Oz and she is usually singing “Oh ee oh, yo um” or chanting “Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh my!”

She continues to be a picky eater.  We’ve stopped fighting her on this and are just resigned to the fact that she may only eat breakfast some days.  She would prefer to only eat carbs and dairy.  Oh, and bacon.
 
She was super easy to potty train.  Two days after we made the plunge to panties, Sloan and I put together the boys’ bunk beds (meaning we ignored the kids all day long).  No potty accidents.  She even forgets to asks for a treat sometimes and has woken up with dry pull-ups on many occasions.  I assure you that we have done nothing unique for this.  She is just independent. 

She can dress herself, brush her own teeth, sloppily make her bed, and is all around very helprful.  Not in that “oh we will let our three year old help to instill a work ethic even though it adds hours to the process”, but actually helpful.  She can vacuum, dust, straighten pillows, empty the dishwasher, fold napkins and blankets, bring in groceries, push the little grocery cart without killing anyone and even help Henry get dressed.  She even attempts to pour her own milk.  This, um, is NOT actually helpful.

While I didn’t want to confess it, I’m certain that part of the delays in our adoption journey were to give Grace time to mature a bit and to teach me that I can rely on Jesus to do his work in our children’s lives. 

Thank you Jesus for using my stubborn daughter on my stubborn heart.  Please continue.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Tune My Heart



“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
and rend your hearts and not your garments.”
Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love;
and he relents over disaster.

Joel 2:12-14*


Today’s post was originally going to be about how I wished I had waited until Lent to give up soda.  I even thought about giving up meat so I could identify with my Congolese children.  But Lent isn’t about foregoing something so you can be healthier or feel closer to your kids.  Those are good things, but they aren’t repentance.  Lent isn’t giving up chocolate or TV or your pillow.  It is about reflecting upon the great sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross.  It is meeting our finitude face to face.  It’s about shedding idols and crutches.  It is about repentance.  And self-discipline and denial CAN help with that.  Last night I settled for a bowl of Cheez-Its to comfort me when I have direct access to the Comforter.  And I’m ashamed to admit how often I settle for something less than what God desires to give me: Himself.  And He gives me Himself so that I can rejoice in all things.  

All things.  

I'm finding that a tad hard to do today as a loved one's young daughter was hit by a truck yesterday while playing in the park.  My friend witnessed the accident.  As did her other daughters and nieces and nephews.  So I'm trusting that the God of the Universe, who knows what it is like to see your child suffer, will be our Comfort.  And that little E will fully heal and continue to be the spunky lovey lovin' middle sister that we all adore.

As I reflect on His great sacrifice for me this Lenten season, I will seek out His grace, His joy.  I’m going to hunt it down expectant that it will be there because God has promised it to me. I suspect that it is not that Grace is hiding, but that my eyes are focused elsewhere.   

This is my Lenten Prayer:
Come Thou fount of every blessing

TUNE MY HEART to sing thy grace

Streams of mercy never ceasing

Call for songs of loudest praise.

So for the next 40 days, that is how I will be observing Lent.  Praying for God to tune my heart and shedding things that cause me to settle for blindness.  And when I see God’s grace CLEARLY, I will be capturing it on Instagram (@ejphillips) using the hashtags #40days and #tunemyheart.  Join me.  

{Disclaimer: Mollie doesn't normally wear snake pants.  A friend brought them to her to wear in the hospital.  Because that's the kinda girl Mollie is loved by.  Someone who knows a kid in the hospital needs a momma in snake pants.}


*Taken from my church's Lenten Reading Blog.  Good stuff.