Rest in My Trash Can

David Schwimmer and his gal pal, Rachel, were finally apprehended. They chose to be buried together in a size 12.5 child's Duck boot shoe box. A small, but tasteful, service was held by my trashcan this morning. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the "Send the Phillips family to see Mickey Mouse" fund.

An additional trap will be placed tonight for any rodents wishing to attend the funeral and the professional exterminators have been called.