Te Amo, Enrique

Perhaps the apple has not fallen far from the tree, but I'm pretty sure I'm living with a crazy person. Granted, I learned everything I know about medicine from watching House. However, I'm nearly certain Henry has multiple personalities.

60% of the time he is Henry.  Henry loves trains, jumping, swimming, doing puzzles, coloring, and eating candy.  He sings while he picks up his toys and always, always, always pushes his chair in when he gets up from the table and puts his silverware and cup in the sink.  Henry tells me every morning that he slept well.  Henry loves all things Thomas the Tank Engine and Buzz Lightyear.  He tells passersby in Wal-Mart that he has Thomas in his bedroom and when reading the Bible story of Jesus' ascension, he will say that Jesus is going "to infinity and beyond".  Henry prefers to be carried upstairs if Mommy or Daddy are also carrying Grace.  He begins conversations in the middle--randomly he'll mention that Gracie likes Santa Claus, horses eat hay, or may even tell the man checking us in at the gym that "Mommy has nipples".  (Thank you very much.)  Henry is potty trained and rarely has accidents.  Henry cheers for himself while he pees--"Yeah, Henwe!  Yeah, Henwe's penis!"  So perhaps it is safe to say that Henry is a little bit obsessed with body parts and their functions.  Henry enjoys being helpful and often 'reads' books to Gracie and will even sometimes (unfortunately) try to pick her up if she gets fussy.  Henry can write his name.  All in all, Henry is a pure joy to be around.

20% of the time he is Henri.  Henri is a grumpy Frenchman.  Henri is never content with what is set before him--be it food, activities, shoes,  or life in general.  Henri often falls apart should you offer him for afternoon snack the rest of his banana that he did not finish in the morning.  When offered food he randomly decides he doesn't like, he will often quote "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of his lungs.  I WILL NOT EAT DEM HERE OR DER, I WILL NOT EAT DEM ANYWHERE!!!!  When I remind Henri that the Who eventually learned that he did like Green Eggs and Ham, Henri goes into what could be mistaken for a seisure.  Henri can cry on cue.  Henri does not like to have his hand held and will yell in parking lots "No, Thank you, Mommy.  You hurting me."  Then Henri goes limp.  In the middle of the parking lot.  Henri, despite that his first language is whine, is quite mannerly.  If you offer Henri water instead of milk, Henri screams at you "No tank you.  I want milk!!!!!"  Henri not only will not write his name, he will throw crayons at you for daring to mention it.  Then he'll say, "Shhhh, stop saying dat.  Mommy, BE QUIET!" Henri will only wear his red "dragon crocs".  No matter that you are going to church.  No matter that he picked out $40 keens that he loved and had to wear out of the store.  All other shoes, Keens included, are either too big, too sticky, or just down right yucky.  Henri does not like to brush his teeth and will only allow you to brush his teeth for him if while brushing you also sing the Thomas the Tank Engine song.  Henri will not go to the potty when it is convienient for you.  Henri has extraordinary will power and won't even poop for days on end--no matter how many bottles of prune juice, FiberOne granola bars, or even suppositories you give him.  In fact, we're pretty certain that Henri's major problem is bowel related. 

The other 20% of the time he is Enrique.  Enrique is pure love and affection.  Enrique tells Gracie 40 times a day he loves her.  Enrique will never have enough of Mommy's kisses.  Enrique declares all errands as "fun and a really good time".  Enrique compliments me every chance he gets--as in, "MMmmmm, Mommy, tank you for dis yummy pwoon juice,"  or "Oooh, Mommy, taking you for making me Cheerios.  Mommy is a good cook."  (Yes, he complimented my ability to have the proper cereal to milk ratio.)  Or, "Mommy gives good hugs,"  "Mommy and Gwacie have pretty curly hair".  Enrique's favorite activities include bringing a stack of books to my lap and begging me to "wead me", rubbing Grace on the head and saying "there, there, wittle baby", Eskimo kisses, butterfly kisses, fist bumps, and the ever popular zerbert.  Enrique will even offer you his foot to kiss.  Admittedly, sometimes Enrique is a little creepy. 

I fear that this is a side effect from growing up in Elizabethtown.

Or perhaps it is just life with a three year old.