No Statues this Year

It is day 10 of the New Year and I'm once again out of the running for Mother of the Year.

Yesterday, the words "If you don't stop whining, I'll give you something to whine about" came out of my mouth.  Because historically, yelling at someone who is upset calms them down, right?

As a special treat, we went to IHOP for breakfast.  Henry's whining began because he only had 2 slices of bacon.  Then continued when he found it difficult to eat his pancakes with a spoon.  We tried explaining to him that a fork would be the better tool for the job, but he would have none of it.  To top it off, two pieces of the aforementioned pancake fell onto the floor (because it was just in a spoon, mind you!) and we would not retrieve it for him to eat.  Literally, my son was crying because I would not let him eat off of the floor. 

People were staring at us.  And I know what they were thinking, A) Geez, I wonder how many days it has been since that lady has taken a shower, and B) why doesn't she have control of her kid?  To answer them--2 and I have no idea.  Before having children I knew EVERYTHING about how to control children.  Post parenting I am an idiot. 

After going all retro on Henry with the threat of "something to whine about" we went into the bathroom to settle down.  Praise Jesus for Safety Dance being on the stereo in the bathroom and my son's love of dancing.  Of course, once we did get settled down and back to the table, Henry would only remain calm if we completely ignored him.  If we complemented him on his manners and readjusting his attitude, he balked.  When I offered him more juice or my last slice of bacon, he hurled a fork at me (seeing as it wasn't being used and all...).  So literally, Sloan and I had to look the other way for 15 minutes, ignoring him and making sure our waitress ignored Henry too.

I was wondering where Henry gets this from--the freaking out for no good reason--chalking it up to the terrible two's and low blood sugar. And then later that afternoon I yelled at Sloan for standing in the wrong place while he put away laundry and cleaned out his drawers.  Apparently, he was standing in the only place in our bedroom that I was able to stand and fold laundry. 

So I'm out of the running for Wife of the Year as well. 

Pray for my family.  Elizabethtown can be a dangerous place to live.